TCK/MK Related Grief & Trauma RESOURCES
RESOURCES ON STORY/TRAUMA/HEALING, TCK Experience, Spirituality
STORY/TRAUMA/HEALING (List contributed by Marty Christy Cosgrove)
1. Open Hearts Ministry — “The Journey” Workshop
A safe place to look at your story, to be heard and accepted with grace. Highly recommended! Ask me! Ohmin.org
2. But God ... True Stories of God’s Redemptive Love
by Sandy Burdick & Friends from Open Hearts Ministry (2020)
Stories of hope and healing for those wounded by life.
3. Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You -- The Essentials of Christian Living
by Friessan, Wilder, Bierding, Koepcke, Pool (1999, 2000)
Wounded people cannot live from their hearts, because they get stuck in their hurt -- Get unstuck ... be the person you were designed to be. Definitions and discussion of trauma and healing.
4. What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience and Healing
by Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD and Oprah Winfrey (2021)
Understanding how the brain reacts to stress or early trauma helps clarify how our past shapes who we are today.
5. The Body Keeps the Score – Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma
by Bessel A. van der Kolk, MD (2014)
… exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and heal and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.
6. Becoming Attached – First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love
by Robert Karen, PhD (1994)
This is a textbook on Attachment Theory — fascinating, but a textbook nonetheless!
7. God Attachment — Why You Believe, Act and Feel the Way You Do About God
by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Joshua Straub (2010)
Addresses individual attachment styles and an individual’s relationship with God.
8. The God-Shaped Brain — How Changing Your View of God Transforms Your Life
by Timothy R. Jennings, M.D. (2013, 2017)
Beautifully describes how our mind can be restored back to the way God originally designed it to be. (Brad Cole, M.D.)
9. Unwanted---How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing
by Jay Stringer (2018)
Without rival, the best book on broken sexuality I have ever read. (Dr. Dan Allender)
TCK RESOURCES (List contributed by Marty Christy Cosgrove)
10. You Know You’re a TCK When . . .
by Andy and Deborah Kerr (1997)
You’ll laugh, you may cry but it’s good to know you’re not crazy — and even better to know you’re not alone.
11. Third Culture Kids - Growing Up Among Worlds
by David C. Pollock, Ruth E. van Reken, Michael Pollock (1999, 2001, 2009, 2017)
Classic authority on TCK experience.
12. Letters I Never Wrote
by Ruth Van Reken (1985)
Revised and updated as:
Letter Never Sent: A Global Nomad’s Journey from Hurt to Healing
by Ruth Van Reken (2012)
A classic! My first inkling that I wasn’t crazy or alone. The impetus to begin my own journey. (MCC)
13. Passages Through Pakistan: An American Girl’s Journey of Faith
by Marilyn Gardner (2017)
MCS Alumna, TCK and PFI member, our own Marilyn Brown!
14. Between Worlds: Essays on Culture and Belonging
by Marilyn R. Gardner (2014)
More of Marilyn’s insightful writing
15. Some Far & Distant Place: Muslim-Christian Encounters through the Eyes of a Child
by Jonathan S. Addleton (1997)
Jonathan’s coming-of-age memoir.
16. Far Above the Plain: Private Profiles & Admissible Evidence from the First 40 Years of Murree Christian School, Pakistan
by Paul Asbury Seaman (1996)
A collection of precious and painful memories of MCS.
17. Paper Airplanes in the Himalayas ... the Unfinished Path Home
by Paul Asbury Seaman (1997)
A memoir... “We all need to tell our stories, for we long to be assured that we are not alone.” (Prologue, page 5) The prologue is a brilliant synopsis of the history of our spot in the world.
18. Sent: Reflections on Missions Boarding School & Childhood
by John Chenoweth et al (2020)
“Trying to make sense of what being sent away (to boarding school) as children meant, and continues to mean for us.”
SPIRITUALITY (List contributed by Marty Christy Cosgrove)
19. Come Away My Beloved
by Frances J. Roberts (2002)
Devotional readings where “…He who knows you by name and understands your deepest longings will speak to your heart.”
20. Listening to God’s Love
by Dr. Michael Wayne Regier (2005)
Have you ever questioned God’s love for you – especially in the broken places? “Brokenness has a way of reducing us to a state where our defenses no longer matter. In this deep place of pain … the voice of God … assures you that … you are loved beyond your wildest imagination.”
21. Life of the Beloved
by Henri J. Nouwen (1992)
A spiritual classic with the message that YOU are the Beloved.
22. The Prodigal God
by Timothy Keller (2008)
Back to the basics! “One of the signs that you may not grasp the unique, radical nature of the gospel is that you are certain you do.” The story of Two Lost Sons
23. If God is Love, Don’t Be a Jerk ... finding a faith that makes us better humans
by John Pavlovitz (2021)
This one will make you THINK!
24. Chasing Francis ... a Pilgrim’s Tale
by Ian Morgan Cron (2006, 2013)
“For those who yearn for a more vital relationship with God and the world.”
25. The Return of the Prodigal Son — A story of ‘homecoming’
by Henri Nouwen (1992)
Another classic!
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RESOURCES FROM BRITAIN PERTAINING TO BOARDING SCHOOL EXPERIENCE
Contributed by Anne Tebbe Kidd
Books
Schaverien, J., (2015). Boarding School Syndrome: The psychological trauma of the 'privileged' child.
Duffell, N.; Basset, T. (2016). Trauma, Abandonment and Privilege: A guide to therapeutic work with boarding school survivors.
Articles
Boarding School Syndrome: The Childhood Trauma of Privilege
https://caldaclinic.com/boarding-school-syndrome-the-childhood-trauma-of-privilege/
The Long Term Impact of Boarding School
https://brightontherapypartnership.org.uk/impact-of-boarding-school/
YouTube
The Making of Them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uRr77vju8U
Would you send your 8-year old to Boarding School?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5SPHkWOjE0
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RESOURCES ON GRIEF WITH A FOCUS ON TCK/CCK/MK CARE
Contributed by Marilyn Brown Gardner
I wanted to post these resources on grief. The focus for TCK/CCK/MK care is now on prevention and with that some really wonderful resources have been developed.
1) The Grief Tower : https://a.co/d/iRP3Qim
This is a practical guide to processing grief.
2) Unstacking Your Grief Tower: https://a.co/d/1kcGccU
This is a small book that is sort of a companion book and is specifically designed for Adult TCKs to work through grief that stacked up through the years.
Lauren Wells of TCK Training is the author of both of these and she is an Adult TCK.
In addition to these, anything by Pauline Boss on "Ambiguous Loss," I have found to be profoundly helpful in understanding the peculiarities of TCK grief.
I wrote this a long time ago but it cites her work and gives a brief summary. https://communicatingacrossboundariesblog.com/.../the.../
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PODCAST ABOUT A WORKSHOP ON BOARDING SCHOOL TRAUMA AND RECOVERY
Contributed by Tim Old
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RESOURCES WITH LINKS
Contributed by Malcolm Bavington
Some resources with tips and pointers of which I think some of you will already be aware.
https://internationaltherapistdirectory.com/
and
Description
Resources, June 25, 2023:
This is a variety of resources for our members -- MKs, TCKs, their parents, their previous school and boarding staff, and those who love them.
The first section was contributed by Marty Christy Cosgrove and she has broadly categorized the list into:
(1) Story/Trauma/Healing,
(2) TCK Experience, and
(3) Spirituality.
But, as you will see, the categories can and do have overlaps.
Anne Tebbe Kidd, Marilyn Brown Gardner, Malcolm Bavington, and Tim Old have contributed other links and resources, which are now listed by contributor.
We invite you to share resources that you have found helpful or think that others will find helpful. Please help us add to this list.
(It's about sharing stories and resources and learning from each other.)
Please send resources to Susie Pietsch at pietschsusie@ gmail.com
GRIEF FORUMS: LINKS AND CONTACTS
EASY TO FIND LINKS
GRIEF (PART 1), FORUM_APRIL 8, 2023
From his experience with MKs/TCKs, Tim Friesen (Twelve12:Hope) spoke on grief.
Audio Recording:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/sai6007i8wpmhdk/audio1945331757.m4a?dl=0
Notes from Forum and Sharing:
GRIEF (PART 2), FORUM_AUGUST 12, 2023
During this Forum, discussion focused mostly on the topic of early grief and trauma associated with MCS boarding.
Margaret Tebbe Spoelman introduced topic with key learnings from Grief 1.
Marty Christy Cosgrove, as this Forum's leader, shared about her early grief and trauma mostly around boarding. Marty encouraged participants to share authentically and listen well during what was a full two hours of sharing.
Audio Recording:
Video Recording:
LINKS TO MORE RESOURCES
Please take advantage of the resources listed and linked above. Let me know if you have resources to add: PietschSusie@gmail.com
CONTACT & ANNOUNCEMENTS
We are hosting a monthly virtual time to continue sharing stories to break the silence and the shame, and remind each other that we are not alone and there is hope. See "Chai & Biscuits" information above and PDF attached.
Marty Christy Cosgrove: Marty_Cosgrove@comcast.net
Join GROUP List
If you would like to share input and ideas and/or if you would like to join a specific 'contact list' for this Group, please let me know.